Why Should I Forgive You?
by apologetically-on-hiatus
Summary: Puck doesn't know what to say when Kurt asks him that fateful question. What would you say if you had impregnated the ex-leader of the Cheerios, used the local gay kid ad your personal play toy, and ruined the lives of countless others?


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee, obviously.

**Note I:** Randomly came to me when I was browsing through some photos of Chris Colfer since I was trying to make a 'Bitch, Please' picture, but I ended up making a semi-cover for this story. If you want to know what the cover looks like, go to my LiveJournal account (the link is on my profile where it says Homepage) and I should have it there under one of my posts. Trust me, you can't miss it. Anyways, read the story and send me your thoughts if you can. Oh, and this is in Puck's POV! Plus Tina has no stutter in this because she explained to Artie that she faked the stutter in "Wheels" so I had to include that.

**Note II:** Kurt's dad is officially Burt Hummel as of the latest episode, where a scene closes up on him to reveal a nametag that says Burt, which is totally awesome. I now love Burt and Kurt Hummel, who are filled with awesomeness.

**Summary:** Puck doesn't know what to say when Kurt asks him that fateful question. What would you say if you had impregnated the ex-leader of the Cheerios, used the local gay kid as your personal play toy, and ruined the lives of countless others?

* * *

"Why should I forgive you?" Kurt scoffed, one hand on his hip and the other clutching the bag around his arm.

I didn't even know the answer to that myself, despite the fact that I was on my knees in front of the other glee club members as I begged for Kurt's forgiveness. I'd used Kurt for my own desires like I had with other girls, which you can obviously tell from the bump Quinn had on her usually lean stomach. Finn had one arm around her waist, the other holding onto Rachel's arm so she wouldn't do anything drastic.

Everything had been rocky once news of the real baby's dad came out while I was venting my anger to Mercedes a few days back. Finn had been loyal to Quinn and didn't break up with her. He knew that she only kept the secret because she was scared and afraid at what he would do. Her excuse for feeling fat that day and getting drunk off of wine coolers helped her cause, too. Rachel and the others had kept their distance as the news sunk in, and Kurt was heartbroken after he thought that he had been Quinn's replacement, except that there was no way Kurt would be able to get knocked up. It wasn't true, but he wouldn't buy the fact that I was truly in love with him.

"You shouldn't," Quinn snapped icily. "He's only saying sorry because he wants to get in your pants. That's all he ever wants from people, so why would it be any different with you? You might as well spare yourself the trouble and end it with him now."

I winced at the comment. It hurt to think that people really thought that about me. I wanted to prove to Kurt that Quinn was wrong. I wanted to show him that they were all wrong when they told him to just forget about me and move on with his life. I wanted to be apart of his life. I wanted to be the person he looked forward to seeing every day for the rest of his life.

It pained me when I saw tears slowly slipping down Kurt's cheeks. He let out a choked sob, his bravado drained from him completely. I stood up to pull him into my arms, but he stepped back with anger clearly visible in his eyes. I looked at him pleadingly.

"I want to forgive you, I really do." He chocked out. "But you've done too much damage to ever show me that. You used me, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for that."

He spun around and shoved past the other glee club members, who looked at me disapprovingly, including Mike and Matt. I wanted to run after Kurt, but I knew that there was no point. He needed to cool down and take a moment to think. Mr. Schuester ended up chasing after him, leaving me to face the glares and looks alone. I gulped uneasily and shifted my weight from foot to foot.

"I hope you're happy." Santana, out of all people, spoke up. "He might not have been the coolest guy in school, or the cutest, but he was a good person deep down inside. And you just had to go and crush any hopes of us ever getting to see that in him."

"He was actually starting to look happy around you, too." Brittany interjected with a frown.

"Way to go, Puckerman." Quinn sneered.

Would you have guessed that the Cheerios (and ex-Cheerio) would be standing up for Kurt? I didn't think so, either.

"Why did you have to do that?" Tina questioned sadly.

"Because it's in his nature, as you can tell from Quinn's current state." Rachel replied bitterly. "He goes around doing whatever he wants, and he expects that he'll never have to face the consequences-"

"What's new about that?" Mercedes interrupted.

"Nothing," Finn scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

They all continued to talk about me right in front of my face, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was reaching my boiling point and fast. I blew my lid when Mike and Matt joined in on the festivities. I didn't want to blow up on any of them, especially Quinn since she had a bun in the oven, so I just stormed off and went to go find where Mr. Schuester and Kurt could possibly be. I ended up searching the school high and low, but I couldn't find them anywhere. The bell signaling the end of lunch rang, and I rushed to Spanish class, where I sat a few desks away from Kurt.

He wasn't there. Or at the math class I went to just to catch him so I could apologize. Or at football practice, where Finn, Mike, and Matt made sure to avoid me. He wasn't anywhere. It wasn't until I passed the music room after football practice that I found him. Well, it was more like I heard him and then used his voice to figure out that he was hiding in the music room. I peered inside from the small glass slit on the door, and I saw his fingers tapping away at the piano keys. Tears trickled down from his eyes filled with so much fury that I felt as if flames would burst from them at any minute.

"_Can you see me__ fl__oating above your head__ a__s you lay in bed__, t__hinking about everything__ t__hat you did not do,__ 'c__ause saying I love you__ h__as nothing to do with meaning it_? _And I don't trust you,__ 'c__ause every time you're here__ y__our intentions are unclear.__I spend every hour waiting for a phone call__ t__hat I know will never come.__I used to think you were the one__, n__ow I'm sick of thinking anything at all_," He sang softly. "_You ain't ever coming back to me__. T__hat's not how things were supposed to be__. __You take my hand just to give it back__; n__o other lover has ever done that. __Do you remember __the way we used to melt?__Do you remember how it felt__ w__hen I touched you?__Oh, 'cause I remember very well._ _And how long has it been__ s__ince someone you let in, __h__as given what I gave to you? And at night when you sleep__do you dream I would be there__ j__ust for a minute or two, do you?_"

Anguish and pain ripped at my heart once realization sunk in. The song was about me, and how he felt about what had happened. I just never pegged him for the kind of guy who listened to Maroon 5. I crept away from the room before he could finish the song, remembering that there was going to be a movie fest at Kurt's house tonight for the glee club members. Sure, everyone was probably mad at me still, but I'd make my apology even more sincere with my grand performance at Kurt's house and I hoped everyone would take me seriously. Unfortunately, I didn't count on it raining that night.

I was standing outside in the pouring rain, where I was clearly visible from the window that led to the home theatre room. I saw the lights on and laughter erupting from it, so the only way to get their attention was to throw rocks at it. I finally got their attention after one slipped through when Mike opened the window and got the carpet dirty. Kurt shoved his way to the window, where he glared at me after seeing the guitar in my arms.

"Are we living in a cliché chic flick where the boy sings to the girl in hopes of being forgiven?" He scoffed over the pitter-patter of the water engulfing all of the surrounding area.

"Will you just let me inside, please?" I called up. "If I can just explain some things-"

"Then he'll go crawling back to you, which we cannot have." Rachel called back down, pushing Kurt out of view. "Now if you don't mind, we were in the middle of an episode of _The Office_ where the pizza guy is taken hostage by Michael."

"And the pizza guy looks kind of like Artie, so bye!" Tina said cheerfully and slammed the window shut.

Groaning, I slung my guitar over my shoulder and glanced up at the tall tree next to the window that led to the bathroom, which was right next to the home theatre room. It looked like that that was my only way up. Rain mixed with tree bark is not exactly the best climbing scenario someone looks forward to, though. I slipped seven times, fell on my ass five times, got hit with acorns by an angry squirrel twice, and dropped my guitar once. When I finally made it up, they'd already left the room. I decided to enter anyways, so I was very careful when I slipped in through the window. I shook the water off as best as I could.

"I forgot my sweater in the room, and I need to clean up the mess you guys made." I heard Kurt call down the stairs with a laugh. "I'll be back in a second; you guys can start the game without me."

I tossed my guitar onto the couch and dove behind the door as Kurt skipped in. The door quietly closed and I made sure to lock it just as Kurt noticed my guitar case sitting on the pull-out couch. He spun around to go back out, but I was already advancing towards him. He opened his mouth to cry for help, but I clamped a hand down over his lips and pushed him onto the couch. He was squirming around, trying desperately to break away. I pushed my hips against his and pinned him down on his back as I put his wrists above his head.

"If you promise to not scream, I'll let you go." I whispered softly. "I'm not here to hurt you."

He stopped struggling, so I let him go, but I didn't get off of him. This could possibly be my only chance to have our hips smashed together like that. He's lucky I didn't start tearing his clothes off right then and there, but I'd learned to not push Kurt when he's having a boy-version of a PMS moment.

"Get off of me, or else I'll stab you with the crowbar I keep underneath this couch." He snarled. I quickly got off, letting him settle into the couch to his liking.

"Now, why in the world did you sneak into my house?" He questioned.

"Well, I want to sing you a song- as cheesy as it sounds," I sighed.

"How chivalrous of you," He snorted.

"Can you just hear me out?" I grumbled. "I feel really bad for putting everyone through all this bullshit, especially you. I think I actually like you, like more than just a friend. It's really weird, because I know I'm not gay for other guys, but then whenever I see you I just wanna kiss you, which is really weird-"

"Noah, just shut up." He snapped, but his voice was calm as he did it. "Get to your song so I can get back down there. If we stay up here for much longer, Finn will come in here with the other guys and beat the crap out of you. I like your face the way it is, and I think you do too."

I nodded and pulled out my guitar from the case carefully. Kurt was watching me intently as I strummed it melodically (yeah, I can use big words like that, don't be surprised).

"_It's not a silly little moment__; i__t's not the storm before the calm__. __This is the deep and dying breath of__his love that we've been working on, can't seem to hold you like I want to__ s__o I can feel you in my arms.__Nobody's gonna come and save you;__ w__e pulled too many false alarms.__We're going down, __a__nd you can see it too.__We're going down__, a__nd you know that we're doomed.__My dear__, w__e're slow dancing in a burning room__.__" _I sang to him quietly, tears brimming in his eyes as I continued. "_I was the one you always dreamed of,__ y__ou were the one I tried to draw.__How dare you say it's nothing to me__? B__aby, you're the only light I ever saw.__I'll make the most of all the sadness__; y__ou'll be a bitch because you can__. Y__ou try to hit me just to hurt me,__ s__o you leave me feeling dirty__'cause you can't understand. We're going down__, a__nd you can see it too.__We're going down__ a__nd you know that we're doomed.__My dear__, w__e're slow dancing in a burning room."_

I finished strumming and looked up to him to see his reaction. I found him wiping his eyes quickly in an attempt to hide them from me.

"You know, I really shouldn't let this song change how I feel." He sniffled after a few moments of silence. "But yet, I do. I feel compelled to forgive you, even if you've hurt a lot of people, including me."

"So does this mean that you forgive me?" I asked expectantly.

Before he could reply, however, I felt sharp pain on the back of my head and turned to see Finn holding a book above his head. It was one of those thick, old dictionaries that had a million words in them and could knock you out in a snap, which I learned the hard way once I collided with the soft rug underneath the couch. I heard Kurt yell, feet shuffle, and a jumble of arms lift me up. I pretty much blacked out after that.

I ended up waking up on the couch in Kurt's living room a couple hours later. Mercedes's face was the only thing I could see. I blinked when she set a wet rag on my forehead and whispered something to the person behind her. Mike, Matt, and Finn leaned over me as soon as Mercedes disappeared from my view.

"Hey, sorry about the whole book thing, man." Finn muttered with a weak smile. "I thought that you were threatening Kurt or something."

"Oh, is he awake?" Rachel chirped excitedly. I saw her lean over my chest. "Why does he have a scratch on his cheek?"

"Well we accidently smashed him against the glass trophy case when we brought him in here, so he's got a few marks here and there." Matt chuckled nervously. "But other then that, he's good."

Good? I felt like shit, and I'd end up throwing a fit if I didn't see Kurt soon. I told Quinn, Santana, and Brittany this when they stood next me, but they didn't even have the decency to tell me where Kurt was. Everyone seemed to check up on me except Kurt. I swear to God, if they locked him up somewhere to keep us apart, I will seriously hurt somebody.

"Tell me where he is, damn it!" I growled and sat up, only to find Kurt entering the room with his dad, Burt, alongside him. Kurt was dressed in nothing but an old white T-shirt and some overalls, grease stains all over his body.

"I'm surprised you were so interested in working on the van with me, especially since you have guests over." Burt said to Kurt, who glanced in my direction.

"Well I needed to clear my head and think about some things, and my inner grease-monkey helps me do that." Kurt replied softly.

Burt's eyes went wide when he saw me lying on his couch with a rag on my head. "Any reason to why a soaking wet teen is messing up my couch?"

"Puck-er, I mean, Noah-" Kurt corrected himself. "Was just resting from a little incident he had. I'll go get him cleaned up in the bathroom and I'm sure Rachel and Tina wouldn't mind cleaning up the couch for me, would you girls?"

Rachel and Tina shooed me off of the couch and started cleaning it up as Kurt led me away from the scene, where Burt was still watching everyone with a suspicious glance. Kurt shoved me into the nearest bathroom and locked it shut, turning to me just as my arms slipped around his waist. Before he could even protest, I kissed him passionately and pulled him flush against my body. I could tell that he was on the verge of crying, but he kissed me back anyways and his arms flew around my neck quickly. We were up against a wall, our bodies intertwined in every physical way possible. I unbuttoned his shirt a little and kissed him all the way from his lips down to his chest. He moaned, I thrust our hips together, and we both clutched each other in fear that we'd never be able to do it again.

"Kurt, are you and your boyfriend done in there?" Burt called from the other side of the door.

"Dad!" Kurt shrieked in embarrassment, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

"Sorry, I was just asking!" Burt said defensively. "You've got your friends waiting for you out here, and I have to handle an over-night repair, so you need to come out here and keep them entertained. Remember what I've told you-"

"Hummel men never let their guests down like a Karofski man would," Kurt recited with a sigh. I later found out that Kurt's dad was sworn enemies with James Karofski's parents. Pretty ironic, huh?

I let Kurt's waist go and he let his arms fall to his sides as he opened the door to reveal nearly all of our friends listening in on what was going on inside the bathroom. I put my arms around Kurt's waist again, rested my head on his shoulder, and growled. They backed up a few steps, but Finn still stood in his original spot.

"Need me to whack him with a book again?" Finn actually looked serious, which kind of freaked me out, but Kurt's chuckles rocked his body and I felt myself grin like an idiot.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I've got this mutt under control." Kurt snickered. I frowned and nudged his butt with my hips, causing him to blush and whack my stomach playfully. He gave me a scolding glance before looking back at everyone else. "He's not but a harmless little- Noah!"

My hands were messing with his belt buckle, which he replied to by slapping my hands away. I smirked and wrapped my arms around his hips just as he started to pull forward in an attempt to move.

"Aw man," Artie muttered as he wheeled away. "I was looking forward to Puck knocking out again."

Kurt laughed along with everyone else, and it was a genuine laugh that I loved to hear. It was the kind of laugh I would hear for the rest of my life.


End file.
